Thank you Joe and Carl

I say thank you
for the way you’ve unfolded
even just the corners of this
great mystery into manhood.

This dream called my life,
my myth you would say,
is perhaps in analysis an abstraction,
and yet to me, and those in my dream, it is very real.

How I have wanted to
fulfill and be fulfilled
in the mystery and
in the relating to others.

And you have shown me,
at times by dragging me
horrifically through the shadows,
more of the light.

You have shown me
the beginnings of true being,
part of the flow of all the ages
of many men, of man.

You have cast me,
then drown me and revived me
in the everforming seas
of anima and animus.

In my bag I now carry
many touchstones:
pain, joy, ecstasy, love, divinity
femininity, masculinity.

I am measuring carefully
as I rebuild my castle and my kingdom.
I am mixing in my mortar
wisdom and heed.

You have made my mistakes
triumphs of self, humanity and God,
as have been the mistakes
of my father’s father’s fathers.

I am grateful for this rite of passage and
I am betrothed to your teachings,
your very own experiences and insights;
the guiding legacy of your words.

Your passions have inspired me
to accept my calling to become a man,
as “man” of the ages has been called to do.
I will with divinity and honor.

Thank you Joe and Carl, for
without your knowing of the knowing
I might never have seen my shadow
and therefore never noticed, on the other side, the light.

my life is a poem

My life is a poem
I experience living through metaphor
and meaning, or lack of meaning

The rich meter fills me with joy and attention
My inquisitive heart not always in rhyme
My tears the space between the words

In this symbolic beauty
in this iambic imagination
I experience my blood and sleep

Each stanza a new discovery
Each line completed by the unknown
I am drifting, anchored to uncertainty

rose cities and windy rivers saw

lovers love and lovers quarrel.

like a waterfall they fell,

perhaps missing the beauty of it all;

perhaps forgetting what they once said they were

willing to give…

...to find.

We Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For

check it out…


We Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For

"There is a river flowing now, very fast.It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and suffer greatly.Know that the river has it's destination.

The elders say we must push off in to the middle of the river,keep our eyes open and our heads above the water.See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history we are to take nothing personally,least of all ourselves, for the moment we do that,our spiritual growth comes to a halt.The time of the lone wolf is over.

Gather yourselves; banish the word 'struggle' from your attitude and vocabulary.All that we do now must be done in a sacred way and in celebration.We are the ones we've been waiting for."

Hopi elder, 1999 summer solstice

The love of my life...

my son Aidan...to be 3 in October

Windsurfing at Lake Hattie, WY 9.11.05

Here are some pics of a very beautiful place in Wyoming. Flying across the water at 30+ miles-per-hour is one of those perfect adrenaline-junkie experiences where you are participating physically and psychically in the movement of natural forces typically beyond the grasp of humans. It's momentary bliss with a visceral edge--kind of like meditating in freefall.

Day 1, page 1

Not really. It's been almost 14,000 days since I started my adventure here and I'm still not sure what i want, how do get it and where I'm going.

For certain, the universe inside is exponentially, infintessimally more expansive than the one outside. And yet, in moments of precarious-yet-sublime interconnectedness, they are the same.

The more I abandon farcical anchors intended to harness me to the safety of purpose--those such as religion, politics, nationalism, capitalism, property, even family and personal relationships--the more I soar, unprotected yet free, through the experience of life incarnate, both in the time and space of my physical being, and the timelessness and spacelessness of my spiritual being.

In my case, I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding both physical and metaphysical, and well as a desire to experience the surreal without the use of drugs or alcohol.

Following are thoughts, recollections and experiences. Some mundane, others rich with the stuff of life, depending on your lens and attitude. None of my experiences are special by comparision to others, but each absolutely fanastic in their own momentary existence.

Now, on to the next...